Nicky Romero

le bored me at work and the lovely best bud who came over to find me. shopped like mad and I got so tired I was begging to head home hahahaha. 

these were from Friday night @ Zouk. Nicky Romero spun that night and honestly, it was one of the best nights ever. can't believe the cover charge was so cheap as compared to afrojack (when romero's even better imo). tho I didn't pay for entrance haha. 

it was a very dramatic night. lol. i scolded a lot of strangers and I got scolded back as well LOL. I am just really vulgar when I'm high and I don't like that at all..... 

I wasn't drunk but I cried. idky la but when I saw Izzuan I just cried. like some baby. I was just really sad and angry that night. maybe I cried cause we kinda argued a few days before. maybe I was just rly relieved to be back in his arms again after so long. he feels like home. maybe I cried cause I was too stressed these few days. maybe I cried because... pms. 

but secretly I am crying everyday. I cry a lot. ever so easily. I feel so sad everyday. I kind of know the reason but I just don't want to admit it, even to myself? lol. I really feel so, so, so broken. 

I wished someone could save me. 

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I want to start over. 

this time 

we'll make things right. 

we'll take our time. 

battered

I wished someone could fix me 

why do I always like I'm facing the world  alone. you won't care enough to fight for me. no one will. 

not so foodie anymore

recently I have zero appetite at all and it's scaring me........... 

I (we all) know how much I (used to) LOVE food and how I couldn't resist them but now I just..... don't like it that much anymore. I never feel hungry these days; I can eat like a meal a day and still properly function. I know howwwwww bad it is to skip meals I really know how unhealthy it is. 

but my hunger pangs only come after extreme times like maybe 6-10hours without food and it goes away in 10 minutes. usually I'd be too busy to deal w that and then.... I wouldn't be hungry again. 

and yes my last proper meal was last night's dinner at 7pm. which I only ate half of it. it's 3:43pm now and I just had 2 slices of bread to curb my hunger pangs. you get what I mean now?!?!?!?! 

T____T 

moon sign

sooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking true my mind is blown because id never really cared about my moon sign. but this is more accurate than shit bc your moon sign depends on what time you were born/time zone etc. 

and yes that means I'm an Aquarius with a libra moon sign. libra is compatible w Aquarius so that is a no wonder why horoscopes are always so accurate for me. it's like my moon sign enforces the credibility since I'm rly quite the extreme. hahahaha this also means I'm the fairest person of all HAHAHA since Aquarius doesn't judge people and libra takes two sides of the argument. and this is 100% true ok I'm not just saying this bc it is sort of a compliment or that I rly believe in horoscopes. the reason why I believe in it so much cause I find it so incredibly true. 99% of the time. hahaha. and this also explains why I like to help people a lot?!?! Aquarius is a humanitarian who cares about the society as a whole while libra likes to resolve arguments. 

and I trust the compatibility thing even more now. it's weird how I have so many close Sagittarius friends. we just freaking gravitate towards each other???? it's the kind of thing like u start talking to this person randomly one day and go like "where have u been all my life" cause he/she simply resonates w u. and a lot of my good friends are Aries. I like Aries a lot. I like how they're genuine and nonchalant about things that don't bother them. and they're really nice as well. 

!!!!!!!!!! I really like being an Aquarius HAHA. I like how we are trendsetters and always seem like we are in our own world. that is why people often think we are weird and we do weird things/have an odd dress sense. before they follow suit a few weeks/months after because the trend formed. like I used to wear vintage a lot and people would say I dressed damn weirdly. until now.... hah. I'm so glad I still kept my vintage clothes. just couldn't bear to sell them off idky 

well I hope I didn't bore u with my obsession w horoscopes LOL I kinda hope to study astrology one day it's soOoo interesting. 

aaaaand i hope you could read the image because on my phone it looks a bit wuzzy 

don't read this post

I kinda just really want to post a blog entry but I have nothing to talk about. I also have no pictures. 

so there. 

here's something to proof my existence, in case you were starting to ponder since hell week just past. I am growing increasingly lazy as the end approaches. I don't even want (take note: it's a 'want', not a 'feel') to study for my physics paper 3 later. I'm still on my bed. at 10am. compare this to the me when a's just started: wake up at 7, leave house at 9 to study in school for an afternoon paper. hahahaha. 

I really really want to post a picture to complete this post but I have none....... ok here's one from my sister's wedding. 

~just~ in case u missed my spastic face. 

and recently I drove myself crazy lol. I would just lie in bed and start imagining stuff that weren't even going to happen (eg no premonitions whatsoever). most of the times they were quite intense and horrible i would just cry and be soooooooooo upset about it. fucking crazy but I guess it's my hormones acting up ~_~ please donut judge me I am very stressed out at the moment I do stupid stuff like this. 

guess I found something to talk about and a picture to post eventually. hahahah ok off to eat ma bfast!

bullet train

I am beyond exhausted. oh nothing much, just the humdrum routine of an a level student. it's just that, I'm both mentally and physically tired but time is running short. hell week is gonna start. gp yesterday was relatively alright though... RELATIVELY. bc they were too many people who thought it was so bad. it's hard to not be part of the hoi polloi but I still thought it wasn't as bad as what everyone thought it was, right??? no worries guys, Cambridge examiners are kinder than you think. :-) 

there is neither a point, a crux, nor a bottom line. I am just mindlessly typing so as to take a break from studying. and is it weird if I am into those kind of sex indie songs?????? arctic monkeys, the neighborhood and the like. there's probably a genre specific to their song types but I don't know what. so I should just call them sex songs. if you don't know what I'm talking about, it's those kind of slow and trance-ish songs. it's a very weird genre but I guess that's indie for you. 

are you still with me? to this very sentence? I applaud you and here's poetry as your reward. and I love poetry sigh I save too much of them in my phone. they don't all apply, but I just find them so beautifully written; how they so accurately express pinned-down thoughts and ambiguous emotions. 

sorry

fear crashing in like waves as the day approaches. yet some people still don't get it. 

I have no time for your drama, your incessant whining, your constant crave for my undivided attention. why are people so insistent of demanding my time from myself, when I have better things to worry about. I have no time to share your worries and sorrows. don't expect me to sympathize with you when you can't understand my predicament...

please let me have my own time. I will be okay pretty soon. in about 3 weeks. 

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I agree that I might just be a little too harsh. I agree that I'm stupid for pushing everyone away. but I'll worry about my contradictions after 27th november. 

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I wish I can isolate myself forever. I abhor human interaction now. I detest feelings. not of my own but of others which I must take care of. I want to be on my own. I want to walk the earth for no one but myself. 

life is so much simpler this way. 

starburst

yay i just created a new playlist! house/progressive house/indie house/whatever shit i like yeah u better listen to it now!!!!! *presses play 4 u*

☄ from Seeminng on 8tracks Radio.

abusing my fisheye lens

I look damn Malay here bc of the filter 

love my friends. my Mexicans. yes we are not bgngu anymore. we've morphed into another species w a diff nationality. I am salsa, jt is jalapeño, nat is nacho, nix is nopalitos, cleo is churros and chiam is caviar. 10 points to gryffindor if you spotted the pattern!! 

k pls I know the names are damn lame HAHAHA but we are so full of shit it's no surprise. thanks for that night because they made me laugh like crazy (don't underestimated 'like crazy') despite me feeling like ultimate crap. the best part was they weren't even trying because they didn't know I was sad. love spending time w them /mushy/ :-)

and this! I miss the clique already :-(. wished a's didn't have to separate everyone. wished I could still relive the golden times. 

things that made my night

these pictures sum up the reasons why I've been chuckling secretly to my phone in macs alone the whole night. trying to conceal your laughter is a skill few acquire ok. 

awww hehehe I want to keep that last photo forever (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

lost in empty pillow talk again

need to keep telling myself:

to breathe, to live, and not despair. 

you make me feel alive

impure

sometimes I wonder why people cling on so tightly for something that is already lost, for the bitter feeling of capturing an empty heart is far worse than the emptiness stemming from the physical absence itself. 

for the indie soul

"you were a stranger in my phonebook i was acting like i knew cause i had nothing to lose"

"well baby I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new"

"together we saw the end in sight, im tired of fighting the good fight"

"only you can be the aching in my heart; my enemy/ the only animal I couldn't fight"

"that kind of luxe just ain't for us/ we crave a different kind of buzz"

"dont you think that it's boring how people talk/ making smart with their words again"

"im sick of words that hang above my head"

"don't ever resent a letter inside a single word written"

"how optimism led me astray"

hi lovelies!! 

on monday my og mates (er..... only 3 of them to be exact HAHA), hevina's classmates and i went over to her house to surprise her for her birthday! the entire surprise was planned by hevina's mum. ain't that super sweet?!?!? not forgetting that it's only a month plus to a's... :")

we made a guy dress up as a fairy and greet Hevina when she opened her room door. he was supposed to say something like "I am your fairy godmother and I'm here to grant you your wishes" and we all spring out and shout happy birthday. 

but he didn't........ and Hevina was like "wtf where's the rest?!??" HAHAHHAHA. and she found us hiding outside her room toilet. failed surprise ttm but it was still fun!!

her room and her house is sooooo big and nicely decorated though. really. I wonder why we didn't sleep over at her house during orientation period??! 

proceeded downstairs and ate/drank. her mum prepared all the food and they were all damn exotic and cool?!?!?! not Indian at all ok??!??? 

we had like bruschetta, nachos, lasagne, pasta salad w broccoli, thin crust pizza, Greek garden salad. AND THEY WERE ALL DAMN GOOODDDDD like better than restaurant standards. best mum ever hahaha. 

plus hev's bro made jelly shots. her mum served us this mint lime alcohol drink which was super nice?! HAHA. the tiramisu cake had freaking strong rum in it. so we basically kept drinking/consuming alcohol the entire night. the selection of alcohol was quite vast also man. 

but I was quite quiet during the party (as compared to my high self LOL) bc I couldn't match up with the arts fac kids OTL HAHAHAHHA. they have a different type of humor. and my English is so horriblez walao didn't want to make myself look extra bad. hahahahahhahaha nah but they're rly cool kids :-) 

cut the birthday cake and I went home shortly after!! didn't take much pictures cause of bad lighting and... I didn't rly have anybody to take pictures with HAHAHAHHAH #lonermin #dontjudgeme 

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this is random but omg should I get this for prom?????? it's from newlook so the risk of outfit clashing is sky high. and the price is like $139 ~_~ 

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finally went on a date again with my boy on Sunday!!! 

even tho we only went to westmall........ LOL I still enjoyed it a lot heheh. 

don't judge us pls I know westmall is damn ~lol~ HAHAH. we were like arguing where to go cause the lazybum wanted to go somewhere near while I wanted to go somewhere nice. 

but I lost anyway sob I always do HAHAHA. 

watched Rush!!! and it was good!!! we bought the tix for exclusive seats. is it called exclusive seats? but it's the row behind couple seats with reclinable back and leg rest!! but we could've just bought the cheaper couple seat tix instead (and hop over to the exclusive seats when nobody's looking) cause the theatre was so empty lol. 

yaaay rly hapz that I got to spend a day with him ヽ(愛´∀｀愛)ノ

don't know when's the next time we'll meet/go on a proper date again (´∩｀。) just want to get a's done and over with so I can have more time for everyone again! :-)

(working this thurs @ cck 5-10pm & next fri @ cine 7pm-12am come visit me!! hehe can't wait to cab back w my bb who will be working at seventh heaven next fri and go to our fave sweechoon for some dimsum supper muahahah)

genuinely,

why are people always putting on a facade in front of others? why can't we just show the real us, treat people genuinely and tell them things only from the bottom of our hearts? 

it puzzles me why would someone want to befriend somebody when she constantly gossips about her behind her back. if you don't like somebody, why are you still her friend? isn't feigning niceness to someone you don't particularly fancy a chore? I see no point in a friendship like that. 

I will never hesitate to walk out of somebody's life if I feel that this person is nothing but poison though. 

because I've done it before. and the emotionless Aquarius will do it again when the time comes. 

izzuan's 21st ♡

feeling like the ultimate shit eva so i just need to get my spirits up after accounting some happy events that recently just passed by blogging. yesterday was my sis' wedding and i was sooooOoo boredddd. (cleo, regina & izzuan all couldn't join me walaOO). spoke to too many adults but owell! i still had a great time. will blog about this in detail the next time (if i am not lazy).

(owait i just realised i only hve one event to blog about cause my life's been so boring....... hahahhaha)

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celebrated my malayb0i's 21st birthday last saturday! i also found out im so bad at doing the whole surprises shit.... :-((((((((( HAHAHAH. haiS but at least i tried! it wasn't the grandest considering the fact that it was his 21st... but that was the first time i actually celebrated/gifted anybody anything for their 21st. really had zero idea as to what to do and i even asked around and everything. so i guess A for effort la HAHA

wore my dope cap that day! and since he said his cap suited me better we wore each other's caps around the whole day hahahaha

booked a reservation @ Wild Honey, Scotts Square~ the place was reallly nice and atas. felt kinda out of place because the place was filled with adults/taitais discussing about business/taitai lives and there we were..... 2 kids... HAHA but who cares~~~

 His "English" 

& my "European" 

i think those were the names of our food luh i rly cant rmb HAHA. but if you are a lover of eggs benedict you defffinitely must try the dish i ordered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really........ too damn good......... orgasmic. prices were quite steep but it was worth it!!1!!

walked over to cine to catch mortal instruments. we reached there just on time lor but i didn't predict the long queue at the box office for the online booking tix collection. HAHA i was like shit..... cause the queue moved really slowly and that meant we would have to miss quite a bit of the movie. but the smart bb went to another counter w/o q and requested to collect our movie tix. HEHE phew.

movie was good!!!!! the lead actress is sho preetz *__* was rly tired after the movie so we went home after that :-) 

here's a picture of my qt with the onesie i gave him as well!!!!111 sh0kute raiiights he was so happy (even tho he alr knew he was gonna get an onesie) cause he'd wanted one since f o r e v e r. n_________n hao kao xin~

 

shameless selfies cause i had nice hair :j

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 made aglio olio for my physics mentor & i when we went to study @ utown :-) (dyou wna be my mentor now????????????)
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and on 11 sept cleo met me and.....

:") T_T SAWB love u bbb u r the sweetest 5ever 6ever 7ever <3<3<3