Nicky Romero

le bored me at work and the lovely best bud who came over to find me. shopped like mad and I got so tired I was begging to head home hahahaha. 

these were from Friday night @ Zouk. Nicky Romero spun that night and honestly, it was one of the best nights ever. can't believe the cover charge was so cheap as compared to afrojack (when romero's even better imo). tho I didn't pay for entrance haha. 

it was a very dramatic night. lol. i scolded a lot of strangers and I got scolded back as well LOL. I am just really vulgar when I'm high and I don't like that at all..... 

I wasn't drunk but I cried. idky la but when I saw Izzuan I just cried. like some baby. I was just really sad and angry that night. maybe I cried cause we kinda argued a few days before. maybe I was just rly relieved to be back in his arms again after so long. he feels like home. maybe I cried cause I was too stressed these few days. maybe I cried because... pms. 

but secretly I am crying everyday. I cry a lot. ever so easily. I feel so sad everyday. I kind of know the reason but I just don't want to admit it, even to myself? lol. I really feel so, so, so broken. 

I wished someone could save me. 

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I want to start over. 

this time 

we'll make things right. 

we'll take our time. 

battered

I wished someone could fix me 

why do I always like I'm facing the world  alone. you won't care enough to fight for me. no one will. 

not so foodie anymore

recently I have zero appetite at all and it's scaring me........... 

I (we all) know how much I (used to) LOVE food and how I couldn't resist them but now I just..... don't like it that much anymore. I never feel hungry these days; I can eat like a meal a day and still properly function. I know howwwwww bad it is to skip meals I really know how unhealthy it is. 

but my hunger pangs only come after extreme times like maybe 6-10hours without food and it goes away in 10 minutes. usually I'd be too busy to deal w that and then.... I wouldn't be hungry again. 

and yes my last proper meal was last night's dinner at 7pm. which I only ate half of it. it's 3:43pm now and I just had 2 slices of bread to curb my hunger pangs. you get what I mean now?!?!?!?! 

T____T 

moon sign

sooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking true my mind is blown because id never really cared about my moon sign. but this is more accurate than shit bc your moon sign depends on what time you were born/time zone etc. 

and yes that means I'm an Aquarius with a libra moon sign. libra is compatible w Aquarius so that is a no wonder why horoscopes are always so accurate for me. it's like my moon sign enforces the credibility since I'm rly quite the extreme. hahahaha this also means I'm the fairest person of all HAHAHA since Aquarius doesn't judge people and libra takes two sides of the argument. and this is 100% true ok I'm not just saying this bc it is sort of a compliment or that I rly believe in horoscopes. the reason why I believe in it so much cause I find it so incredibly true. 99% of the time. hahaha. and this also explains why I like to help people a lot?!?! Aquarius is a humanitarian who cares about the society as a whole while libra likes to resolve arguments. 

and I trust the compatibility thing even more now. it's weird how I have so many close Sagittarius friends. we just freaking gravitate towards each other???? it's the kind of thing like u start talking to this person randomly one day and go like "where have u been all my life" cause he/she simply resonates w u. and a lot of my good friends are Aries. I like Aries a lot. I like how they're genuine and nonchalant about things that don't bother them. and they're really nice as well. 

!!!!!!!!!! I really like being an Aquarius HAHA. I like how we are trendsetters and always seem like we are in our own world. that is why people often think we are weird and we do weird things/have an odd dress sense. before they follow suit a few weeks/months after because the trend formed. like I used to wear vintage a lot and people would say I dressed damn weirdly. until now.... hah. I'm so glad I still kept my vintage clothes. just couldn't bear to sell them off idky 

well I hope I didn't bore u with my obsession w horoscopes LOL I kinda hope to study astrology one day it's soOoo interesting. 

aaaaand i hope you could read the image because on my phone it looks a bit wuzzy 

don't read this post

I kinda just really want to post a blog entry but I have nothing to talk about. I also have no pictures. 

so there. 

here's something to proof my existence, in case you were starting to ponder since hell week just past. I am growing increasingly lazy as the end approaches. I don't even want (take note: it's a 'want', not a 'feel') to study for my physics paper 3 later. I'm still on my bed. at 10am. compare this to the me when a's just started: wake up at 7, leave house at 9 to study in school for an afternoon paper. hahahaha. 

I really really want to post a picture to complete this post but I have none....... ok here's one from my sister's wedding. 

~just~ in case u missed my spastic face. 

and recently I drove myself crazy lol. I would just lie in bed and start imagining stuff that weren't even going to happen (eg no premonitions whatsoever). most of the times they were quite intense and horrible i would just cry and be soooooooooo upset about it. fucking crazy but I guess it's my hormones acting up ~_~ please donut judge me I am very stressed out at the moment I do stupid stuff like this. 

guess I found something to talk about and a picture to post eventually. hahahah ok off to eat ma bfast!

bullet train

I am beyond exhausted. oh nothing much, just the humdrum routine of an a level student. it's just that, I'm both mentally and physically tired but time is running short. hell week is gonna start. gp yesterday was relatively alright though... RELATIVELY. bc they were too many people who thought it was so bad. it's hard to not be part of the hoi polloi but I still thought it wasn't as bad as what everyone thought it was, right??? no worries guys, Cambridge examiners are kinder than you think. :-) 

there is neither a point, a crux, nor a bottom line. I am just mindlessly typing so as to take a break from studying. and is it weird if I am into those kind of sex indie songs?????? arctic monkeys, the neighborhood and the like. there's probably a genre specific to their song types but I don't know what. so I should just call them sex songs. if you don't know what I'm talking about, it's those kind of slow and trance-ish songs. it's a very weird genre but I guess that's indie for you. 

are you still with me? to this very sentence? I applaud you and here's poetry as your reward. and I love poetry sigh I save too much of them in my phone. they don't all apply, but I just find them so beautifully written; how they so accurately express pinned-down thoughts and ambiguous emotions. 

sorry

fear crashing in like waves as the day approaches. yet some people still don't get it. 

I have no time for your drama, your incessant whining, your constant crave for my undivided attention. why are people so insistent of demanding my time from myself, when I have better things to worry about. I have no time to share your worries and sorrows. don't expect me to sympathize with you when you can't understand my predicament...

please let me have my own time. I will be okay pretty soon. in about 3 weeks. 

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I agree that I might just be a little too harsh. I agree that I'm stupid for pushing everyone away. but I'll worry about my contradictions after 27th november. 

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I wish I can isolate myself forever. I abhor human interaction now. I detest feelings. not of my own but of others which I must take care of. I want to be on my own. I want to walk the earth for no one but myself. 

life is so much simpler this way.